Intelligent Design or Smorgashborg?

The state of Kansas is trying to turn back time. It would seem they'd love it to be around1900 when no one questioned religious mantras, and kids prayed to God in school or were beaten on the hand for not complying.

Kansas is a good God-fearing, Bible thumping, Republican stronghold... and as such the state representatives tend to be a bit extreme.

Well, the State of Kansas School Board is currently debating (if you can call rubber stamping something "debate") changing the science standards to include the teaching of Intelligent Design or ID. What is ID? Simply put, ID states that the vast and complex life forms on earth could not come from evolution, and had to have been designed by an intelligent being. They don't come out and say "God created everything"... but that is only so they don't get into a mess over the whole "seperation of church and state" thing.

The really scary thing is... it is going to pass. They will be teaching ID in Kansas schools very soon. There is no way to stop the Bible thumpers here. And with that in mind, here are a few other changes I forsee in the near future for Kansas.

1. Stores will be closed on Sunday, no exceptions. Everyone must attend Mass or Services. Jews and Muslims must convert to christianity... but not Catholic, they're pope worshippers.
2. Alcohol will be outlawed... it's the Devils brew.
3. First time adulterers will be forced to wear a large letter A on their clothing so they can be properly scorned.
4. Second time adulterers will be stoned to death... God hates cheaters.
5. Only church members in good standing can hold elected office... unless you're a serial killer like Dennis Rader, then you go straight to Hell for hiding amoung the chosen people.

Lets stop for a moment here and yak about Mr. Rader. What the F is up with that? He was the President of his church! How the fuck does God not kill him dead... being that God is so darn intelligent and all. I mean if God is smart enough to create every living thing, and design it so it can adapt to changing surroundings (which changed because God designed THAT too!)... how can he allow this murdering son of a bitch to lead a congregation of Lutherans? HOW?

OK, maybe it takes God time to do this shit... but he had 30 years with this Rader asshole. Rader first killed a family of four people back in the 1970's! In thirty years time God couldn't get around to sending down a lightning bolt or having a bus driver have a heart attack and careene into Mr. Raders vehicle head on... NOOOOOOOOOO. But he had time to design a fucked up animal known as the Duck Billed Platypus?

Yeah, Intelligent Design. Only in Kansas... they grow them weird out here.